Hi, my name is Vinny, and I am directionally impaired, on more than one occasion I have walked into the wrong bedroom while leaving a bathroom, even at my own apartment. The guidebooks I have read and the friends I have talked to concentrate on how “getting lost” is the reason you go to Fez. I hate getting lost. I am easily frustrated and get those nervous sweats that do not seem to stop until I can undeniably guarantee that I know where I am.
Little known fact that I am completely making up: The same person who built the old Medina in Fez was a distant great uncle of the person Microsoft hired to make the elusive Windows ’95 maze screensaver. Yes, the same screensaver you stared at for hours during grade school when everyone seemed to own a gateway. Instead of a windows sign at the end, in fez it was more often than not a carpet shop. I got so lost the first day I was in the Fez Medina, that I found my Riad by making to many wrong turns. Street signs are there but during the day scarves, shirts, and hats take over the walls and block out the majority of the signs.
A few quick hits that I realized during my trip:
– Carpet shops are a vital part of the experience, and since the carpets are serious money, you do not get pestered when you sit down to look at the work.
– Tanneries do not smell as bad as everyone says they do **Disclaimer: I went in February, it was 16C, not 35C.
– Thinking you can truly conquer this Medina without a guide is dumb.
– I found out what the worst job in Morocco is. The mailman in the depths of the Fez Medina.
All in all, Fez turned out to be a great few days, here is some photographic evidence: